How desperate do you have to be to steal another man’s husband? Pretty desperate right? Some might say, even pathetic.
Only a desperate woman is dumb enough to believe a married man’s clichéd lies, such as “my wife doesn’t understand me, I’m desperately unhappy with my wife and I need love and warmth.”
A desperate woman is unable to find any single men, so she intentionally seduces other women’s men and desperately wishes they will eventually chose her.
Just look at Angelina Jolie. A woman so desperately short of men that she had to steal Jennifer Aniston’s man.
The fact that she and Brad are now happily married with children does little to justify her desperation. She should have supressed her feelings for him and looked harder for a single man. Right?
She has no excuse. Like all desperate women she should have used her “love off” switch to shut off any feelings she had for him. It’s simple, right?
A desperate woman will go to bed on a first date. She’s only a little less desperate than the woman who goes to bed with any guy she picks up in a club. Only a desperate woman sees somebody who’s dumber, more ugly and much older than her. Her desperation is so big that she catches a drowning woman’s straw – anyone, any man at all. A desperate woman buys herself cats because she knows they’re the only companions capable of loving her. A desperate woman also becomes a feminist. She cuts her hair short, stops putting on make-up and using body balm. She enjoys wallowing in her ugliness in order to prove how independent from men she is. Yet, deep inside she still dreams of a knight in shining armour. As soon as he appears on the horizon, she will forget about her values and fall straight into his arms. That’s what desperation does to a woman.
A desperate woman becomes pregnant because she has just hit thirty. Wait! Sorry, nowadays it would be more like forty. So, she hits forty and, being a desperate woman, she tricks a guy into making her pregnant because she knows that only through trickery she may get herself a child. Obviously, she gets that kid only for herself and the poor guy is only duped into the whole thing… How can she do it? How can she ruin a guy’s life out of desperation? And the child’s life too? I mean, it’s obvious that if a child doesn’t have a father it will end up a psychopath or at least a deeply disturbed person. Or maybe a drug addict…He or she will surely become a desperate person constantly looking for love and will have a lot of Daddy issues. And all of this just because of a woman’s desperation. It’s totally immoral and conscienceless.
Sometimes a woman is even more desperate and commits a terrible sin…with vitro fertilization. Not only is it against nature, since she is incapable of having a child naturally, but the desperation makes her even more insolent that she demands that the State should help her. Who does she think she is? If she can’t have a child it means that this is how it’s supposed to be. There are a lot of desperate women like her.. Which is why other, law-abiding citizens now ensure that the desperate woman who choses to have a baby unnaturally will be publically crucifed by putting this information into her child’s passport. After all, a child made according to God’s will is better than one made in a test tube, right? Even a child from an accidental pregnancy is better than the desperate woman’s dream child, who she fought consciously for by submitting her body to horrible hormonal torture. Because, basically, anything that comes into existence due to desperation is worse by definition.
The only thing that somewhat attenuates her terrible sin of desperation is the fact that all the wonderful, devout and moral women who always make good choices can feel even more like saints. They get to feel like even better mothers, wives, friends, sisters and human beings. Lucky for them, they were not touched by this infernal disease called desperation. They don’t have to do all these terrible things, because in their righteousness, veracity, generosity and wonderfulness, they are loved by men, respected by friends and admired by strangers. Only good things happen to these wonderful women. They only fall in love with single men and even better with their high-school sweetheart.
And every man they meet is as wonderful as they are and never experience things like an unhappy marriage or a frigid wife. Oh no, such things are only tales that men come up with to tell to desperate women. These men are so happy and content with their wonderful women that they only make up these lies to fool a desperate in to sleeping with them.
A wonderful woman only sleeps with a man after a few, or better, a dozen or so dates. Because it is only then that she desires sex. Only tramps and desperate women like to speed things up and do it with random guys. Well, men are required for this as well, but men do it not because they are desperate but because of a high testosterone level – and that’s a totally different thing, right?
A wonderful woman does not chose someone beneath her and never hangs out with anyone of a lower status. A Barbie always deserves a Ken. Preferably one with the same manufacture date. Everyone knows that love doesn’t happen if the age gap is greater than ten or twelve years. `the older he is, the more obvious it is that it’s about money or an act of desperation. How could anyone love an old man? Yuck! The wonderful women doesn’t think that sex is the most important thing in general, but this is the single exception – just shhhh…. In this particular situation it’s more than obvious that sex is just a reward for desperation.
And cats! Everyone knows that you can only have cats if you have children. And a husband, duh! But in other situations? Please… Cats?! Maybe she should write this on her forehead: I’m a desperate woman so I got myself a cat.
And if she’s really, really desperate in this spinsterhood of hers, then she should go to some dance party or to the University of the Third Age, not get herself cats, because that’s just too obvious.
Wonderful women are always feminine. Maybe they don’t always wear pink, but you know that they are nice, have perfect manners and are kind. They don’t ever fight with their men when they are late home from work, because it’s the man’s job to provide them with lovely things. Meanwhile, feminists are the ugliest of women that no man wants. Poor things. If they just dressed a little nicer, made their hair a little prettier, put on a sexier skirt and bowed their heads a little more, maybe they would find someone too. But instead they shout and pretend that they are so forward thinking. But everyone knows that whenever a man appears among them, they will immediately forget all their silly feminist views and run after him, which is a delight to watch. Damn desperate women… It’s because of them that men don’t buy flowers for the wonderful women on Women’s Day anymore.
Every wonderful woman is as perfect as God wanted her to be. If she has family, they are always at least three. Or even more perfect, four – a boy and a girl.
We can’t live without children. Or without husbands. But we can definitely live without all those disgusting, despicable desperate women. The world would be much better without them. More pure, genuine, honest, fair and decent. The world with only wonderful women would be just as wonderful. But what can we do? We can’t get rid of all the desperate women so we have to learn to live with them somehow.
Yuck!
Signed:
On behalf of all the desperate women whose lives are imperfect by their own choice. Who don’t live according to a plan, or at least not someone else’s plan. Who accept everything that’s human, even if it’s sometimes ugly and imperfect, because they know that we’re only human. Who don’t feel the need to judge and label, because they know that everyone has their story… and their own Sarayevo. On behalf of all the women, who are open enough to admit what’s wrong with them and know what they have to do to lead a respectable and normal life. On behalf of all women who were insulted by the “I didn’t make it” (“Nie zdążyłam”) campaign that chastised women for having a career instead of a husband and children, and having to accept the fact that they can’t have children because that’s what nature decided for them.
On behalf of all these women I, Julia, write this post, since I’ve been called a desperate women many times. Within my desperation I lead a life of a nomad and thus I have no real life or relationship. And since I’m already being accused that the only reason behind all the disasters in my life is desperation, I continue doing what I consider good and right – irrespective of the opinion of others. Perhaps it’s not always a life full of happiness, but it’s mine. It’s real. And it’s genuine.
That’s why I don’t feel the need to call anyone else a desperate woman, or a desperate man. Everyone has their own King Kong and makes their own choices. I send my hugs to all the desperate and non-desperate women. And to the wonderful women as well. Because, who am I to judge them?
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