I used to be very stressed around Valentines Day (also around new year, carnaval and my birthday). If on these days, I was alone or even worse – I wasn’t alone but if I felt that my expectations about this day were not met – I felt devastated. I know – pretty lame. But with emotions – you do not negóciate -you deal with them.
So what did I do?
First – it was my birthday – I transformed that into costume party and started celebrating it twice a year – to take the pressure of my shoulders. Then new year – I tried to plan a meditation or yoga retreat at those times.
But it was still Valentine’s day left! With all marketing bullshit attacks from every corner. And bullshit from men who do not recognize it is as a holiday because , “isn’t every day like Valentines Day with me!” I was thinking: the lazy bastards just don’t want to make any effort.
I was wrong.
In psychology it is called: LENCE MISTAKE. We see things through our lenses and we are not able to understand how the world looks from the perspective of a person who has different mindset or different context.
It wasn’t men that were bastards – but my expectation that they are here to heal me were idiotic.
It wasn’t the idea that every day should Valentine’s Day was stupid – but my choice of partners was stupid. The moment I met Fergus, the most caring, loving, romantic, generous, fun, cute, giving human being on earth – all my worries and expectations about Valentine Day (or New Year) were gone.
Thank you for helping me to see my reality differently and for healing me from my expectations by making every day a Valentines Day.
All of you – if you have you “one and only” next you, I wish you to have recognition how lucky you are to meet among billions of people somebody with similar lenses than you
And if you are still single – I wish you to remember that it is ALWAYS (it is not and opinion, but proven psychological fact) better to be in your own great company than with somebody not from your tribe. So – be your best company – your tribe will find you soon!