It’s easy to like yourself when others like you.
But when you don’t see any friendly faces you need to make twice the effort.
You can learn to ADORE yourself – THANKS TO the people who don’t like you
You do it spontaneously, when you have no obligations and problems or when you’re on holidays
But You need to be cheerful and spontaneous even when you have a mortgage you have to pay for next 30 years, your dog died, you have trouble at work and you don’t know what to do with the rest of your life.
If you know you’re happy even when everything around you is a problem – then you know you have a happiness gene in your DNA.
It’s easy to smile when everything goes as planned.
But the extent to which you are imperturbable depends on whether you smile even if things go totally AGAINST your plan.
It’s easy to be calm when you have time.
But you learn whether you are really calm in situations when you’re stuck in a traffic jam and you can miss a flight for a the trip you have dream about for the last 5 years.
It’s easy to trust people when no one wants anything from you and you don’t want anything from them.
But you really need trust when you’re waiting at the airport, in a place where you know just one person and that person isn’t coming, doesn’t return your phone calls and doesn’t answer your messages.
That’s when you need loads of trust.
It’s easy to have willpower when you have options.
But you learn whether you really have it when you end up in a city where bread, eggs and milk are based of the local diet and at the same time they are exactly what you shouldn’t eat. Will you manage to eat vegetables that you don’t like and refuse a tasty piece of cake offered when you’re hungry and there’s nothing else available? If you do, then you know you do have a great power of will.
It’s easy to be an optimist and an extrovert when you’re in your city, with your friends and everybody knows you’re the queen of the world.
But you know whether you are really optimist if you manage to make friends in a city where you don’t know anybody, where locals are not so fond of white people and additionally no one speaks any language you know.
It’s easy to be a liberated woman when you’re walking on the streets of NYC wearing heels and a dress from Marc Jacobs.
But you can only learn whether you really are liberated from your fears that you are not good enough and from being anxious of what others are going to think – when you find yourself the only no family person in a town where families from all countries arrive just for Christmas. When you walk alone inside the bar full couples, with your head up high you don’t pretend you’re doing something on your phone – this is when you know that you’re liberated.
It’s easy to love people when they are easy-going people, loveable, giving and cheerful.
But how much you can love you learn only when you love a difficult person, a hard-line individualist who always has to be right and has to be the best, or a person who does not accept any messages like “you have to”, “you should” or “this is the right way”. A person free of any influence except for their own. No matter what you do and how much you ask – they know what their destiny is and will never let it be taken away from them. If you love such a person, then you know that you are able to love very strong. And you know you LOVE the person not your image of that person. .
It is easy to love when you expect nothing, when your needs are little and your standards are on the lowest possible level.
But when you love a person who does not believe in unconditional love, who believes that no one is like shapeless puddle and who has their limits and standards – this is when you really understand the difference between loving and liking someone. Then you know than to love is to take person as a package – with respect to what he likes, needs or makes him happy (even when it’s not exactly your first choice)
It is easy to be brave when parachuting, racing on motorbikes or diving in the Antarctica. You are THE HERO – it’s so good and easy to be a hero with a rush of adrenaline.
It becomes difficult when you are afraid of heights, speed and cold, but if you do it anyway. You do it because you believe that this will set you free and that looking your monster in the eye will make your panic attack go away. When you scared – but still keep walking – this is when you learn that you are brave.
It is easy to be friends with someone who doesn’t want anything and expects nothing.
But it is difficult to be friends with someone who has friendship standards and does not agree Facebookish shallowness. . If you are friends with such a person ,in spite of any difficulties and sometime swearing and asking yourself “why am I putting up with all of this?! Why he is demanding from me so much” – if you still like and trust each other, then you know that you two are friends for eternity.
It is easy to remain silent when you have nothing to say.
But sometimes you also have to be silent when you have something to say, but there is nobody asking for it. There is no one interested in it. And what’s even more important – it serves no purpose and nobody needs it.
If you manage keep silent – than you know – that you care for others is bigger than being always right and always in the center of attention.
It is easy to say that everything is possible when this has always been said to you by the people who raised you.
But only after you live as if everything was possible in spite of hearing in your mind THAT familiar voice: “it’s not for you”, “you won’t make it”, “you can’t do it”, “you are not good enough” – you know you are strong. If although no one ever believed in you and actually discouraged you or even gave up on you, you keep on living as if everything was possible and you can make it – this is when you are one of those people who WILL change the world. If not the whole world, then at least your own and people who love you
It is easy to believe in yourself when others believe in you. When everything goes well and you are successful.
But you really know that you can make it and that you’ll survive when you believe in yourself absolutely and unconditionally. When you have the impression that all the positive words have suddenly disappeared from the language of people who talk to you. When you remember that it’s just an opinion , even if its opinion expressed by many people – it is just an opinion. If even then you believe in yourself then you know that you are a really self-confident person.
It is easy to write when you know that someone is going to read it.
But you have to write, especially when you have no idea whether anyone other than your own mom is going to read it. When no one ordered it and no one is going to pay for it. You have no idea what they think, what they say and whether they want it. It is then that you need to write even more.
I used to be jealous of people who choose the easy path.
It ended the moment I realized that I am not the only one. There are more people like me. People who found it difficult to choose easy path.
Not because I’m some masochist. Not because I’m some kind saint who is willing to sacrifice herself. Not because I’m the world’s greatest rebel. But simply because I’m unable to do it any other way.
Acting against myself is difficult for me. In such situations I feel humiliated and violated.
Freedom to express myself and be authentic – There is nothing more that I value.
That’s why being on my knees is unacceptable to me. I’m unable to take any joy from things I didn’t achieve with my own work or that I achieved without being proud and respectful towards myself and others. Why? Because the world is rarely black and white. Even when life is simple there is no point in getting used to that because things are soon going to change anyway.
That is why I choose to do what I believe in. Even if it’s not easy.
When I realized that even in the most difficult situation I always have a CHOICE of how to react – it became immediately easier for me.
In the end, everything in life is a matter of choice.
Its ok to choose easy.
WHATEVER you choose its ok as long as you trust your choice.