Sometimes you find yourself in a place you don’t want to be. But you can’t escape. You stuck. Sometimes you can’t even go out and shut the door behind you… You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t look for it. You just found yourself in it. Or you got into it and now it’s too late. You can only be and suffer more or less – but no escape – you just have to be there. YOU are all in handcuffs. Your body, your mind, your voice, your soul – everything in chains…
Sometimes you are with people with whom you don’t want to be. And it’s not because you don’t love or like them – you like or even love them. You just don’t want to be with them NOW. Maybe you’ll want it one day, but you don’t want it RIGHT NOW. Chains in every possible place. Including lips.
Sometimes you really want to say something, but you can’t. It wouldn’t be polite, it may offend someone, it will hurt someone, especially you… You have your lips sealed, but you can’t seal your brain. So you are silent… and screaming. With your sealed lips.
I scream the loudest when I have my mouth shut. This type of scream exhausts me most. I learnt it a long time ago. I have a good experience in it, because… I tended to fall into trouble because I talk too much. So I learnt to talk less. Even lesser.. Little… Finally I learnt to speak with my mouth shut. However, nothing in life is for free.
Less words, less mistakes, more internal thumping and screaming…
I think that’s why I am afraid of travelling with someone I know and I like. When you are with people you love you HAVE TO keep your mouth shut. Not always but maybe often.
Yet the law of nature is inexorable.
Explaining the phenomenon of revolution, my history teacher in Kiev once said: It’s like you clot a kettle’s spout. It will be silent for a while, but it’ll burst out in its time. Then it’ll be too late to do anything.
Internal scream is the worst. It’s mine and noone hears it. Noone shares it. And later we all suffer the consequences…
It’s hard to have your head up high and not being on your knees when your lips are sealed… That’s why, from time to time, I LOVE places where nobody knows me and I don’t know anyone. You don’t know anyone, so you don’t have to be careful about anyone. If you offend someone – just honest ‘I’m sorry’ will do and the case is closed. If someone offends you, you just think: ‘hey, what does he know about me’… You’ll think about it one or two moments more (in my case maybe 3–or 4) and continue with your own business.
I think that those who think that it’s really brave to change your environment have never experienced all the advantages of such situation. No common past, commitments and knowledge of your weak points – this gives a big freedom. Freedom from being CAREFUL about not telling, not offending, not exposing, not too much and not too little.
Because you don’t feel like a elephant in a china shop. Because you can be different.
Noone clogs a spout. They just lift up a lid and make some tea.
That’s how new friendships are made. In my life, just like in the research – extreme situations give the most opportunities and data.
Both new friendships and extremely old ones, with whom you screamed out a lot, give you the freedom to be yourself. They don’t always agree with you, sometimes you irritate them or make them angry, but their love, acceptance and understanding is so big that they will NEVER clog their kettle spouts. That’s why I love so much those whom I have known for ages. Thanks to them I can talk much and not allow a revolution to happen. Thanks to them I love travelling, but going back home – I love even more.
Some people with whom I can scream, but I don’t want to. The thing that connects them is that they are the best in the world and that they’ll surely won’t kill me for posting their photo 🙂 The rest has announced a murder or taking my Macky with all photos away.
